The Leisure Lie: A Retirement Unfulfilled?

I recently had the opportunity, along with several of my colleagues, to attend the Kingdom Advisor’s “Redeeming Money” conference in Orlando, Florida. Filled with like-minded industry peers, this conference is designed to equip those who seek to care for their clients with a kingdom mindset. Experts from across the industry shared practical insights, helping advisors engage clients in more impactful ways.

I was particularly struck by a concept introduced by author Mitch Anthony, co-author of Storyselling for Financial Advisors and other books. Anthony highlighted what he called The Leasure Lie and its impact on the retirement mindset that has swept our culture. While retirement is often viewed as a proverbial finish line, he made a case that it is more of a beginning than an end. We are made for a purpose, and when retirement commences, the deep desire to never work again should be replaced with a refocusing on what is next. Anthony argued that leisure is a catharsis for our work, and when leisure becomes the work, it is stripped of its glory. He highlighted three key statistics among retirees that drive home this point; We’ll explore those below.

Gray Divorce

Since 1990, statistics show that the rate of divorce is three times higher for those 65 years or older. This is striking to me for a few reasons. First, this is not an age group that I associate with divorce, just based on personal observation. Second, these are the years for which many spend decades planning and preparing. It strikes me as odd that a couple would do all of that planning only to throw those plans out the window and pursue a divorce. I understand that a sweeping generalization does a disservice to the complexities of a painful and difficult event like divorce, but I’m surprised at the statistic nonetheless. Something deeper is going on if the golden years are increasingly sowing such discord among married couples, making those years anything but golden. Unfortunately, this was not the most shocking statistic shared by Anthony.

Suicide

While 65-year-olds make up 16.8% of the population, they make up 22% of all suicides. This is alarming, and it speaks to a deep dissatisfaction with the post-working years. The adage, “life wouldn’t be so hard if we didn’t expect it to be so easy,” comes to mind here. Our society has become increasingly hedonistic, accustomed to ease and instant gratification. Think for a moment about the pioneer mentality that early American settlers had. Of course, due to limited medical knowledge, the average life expectancy in 1620 was 30-40 years old. Regardless, there was no proverbial finish line for those settlers, even if they outlived their life expectancy. People worked and contributed to society for as long as their physical bodies allowed them to do so. “Retirement” was more a function of necessity than of preference, as illness struck or one's body began to break down from years of manual labor.

Now, we have a different problem. Virology, good hygiene, and medicine have advanced such that life expectancy is now 79 years old. Longevity is not our problem. In my estimation, it’s empty living that leads to the statistics we’ve discussed. Without purpose and belonging, the later years of life can underdeliver like never before. This is true with regard to friendships as much as purposeful work.

Friendship Recession

Anthony highlighted that 34% of 50–80-year-olds say that they feel isolated from time to time. It is not necessarily an issue of proximity, but one of purpose. People are more connected today than at any point in human history, yet the problem is the depth of that connection. Good relationships are a key determinant of a successful retirement, according to the book What the Happiest Retirees Know by Wes Moss. He goes on to prescribe other factors he believes contribute to a retirement worth living. Quality relationships are important at any stage of life, so why should we assume a change in our mental health needs later in life? Living life closer to quality relationships (i.e., friends and family) is critical to avoiding the feeling of isolation. Nearly 40% of older adults move closer to children around retirement. There can even be a financial benefit from moving in with children, as about 10% of retirees end up living with their children. That may not be for everyone, but the bottom line is that we are relational beings and we need to live in some sort of community to thrive.

Conclusion

Ephesians 2:10 says, “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (ESV).” This is not how our culture thinks of retirement. If written by a modern hedonist, this would sound something like “We all have work to do, but it gets in the way of the real fun. Get your work done, so that you can unplug and enjoy your permanent vacation at 65.” Not quite is eloquent, right? The reality, even for well-meaning Christians, is that if approached without a plan, retirement runs the risk of being a self-serving disappointment rather than a fruitful next chapter.

As you approach your retirement planning, talk with your financial advisor about your dreams for a successful retirement. Yes, plan your distribution and tax strategies, but strive to have purpose and cultivate deep, meaningful relationships with friends and family. After all, we are his workmanship, and retirees aren’t exempt!

This session with Mitch Anthony was perhaps as much a challenge to me as to any retiree who may have been in the room. Our job as financial advisors is not merely to help people preserve their wealth so they can “golf ‘til they drop”. We are advocates, encouraging folks into what could be their greatest chapter.

I’ll close with an apocryphal quote, referenced by Anthony, stating, “Leisure is a beautiful garment for a day, but a horrible choice for permanent attire.”

How can you make the most of your retirement years?